Southern Girls don't Poop

I don't know if men are aware of this... but I'll go ahead and say it.
Apparently, Southern girls don't poop!



I swear it!
It's some crazy phenomenon.
You can go into any girl's bathroom needing to do the dirty and the moment you open that door determines whether you will or not.
It's a guaranteed 'NO' if there's another woman present.
It's a 'Maybe' if the other person in there is flushing or washing her hands, but it's absolutely not going down (literally) when she's still lingering in the bathroom, fixing her hair or putting on extra rouge.
I personally am guilty of performing this horrendous charade as well.

At some point we were taught that it's impolite to do such things while others are present. I'm not sure when or how this evolved and influenced the behavior to the ability of holding back our bowels. It seems we are afraid of performing an action that is 'taboo', but everyone does it. In fact, if other women didn't do it then they'd be dead. I guess it's like a really good secret, keep deep inside just waiting to burst out... but it can't in front of everyone.

I wonder though, is this just an epidemic of the South?
Are our southern traditions influencing and overwhelming our body's normal function to comfortably and confidently excrete the poison from within us?
Does the North deal with the same toilet manner scrutiny?

I don't know, I can only wonder and assume they do.
If they don't have these same dangerous expectations to hold back their unsavory bathroom antics while other ladies are present, then I'd like to know how that situation is handled.
If this is so, we might be able to learn a thing or two from our Northern sisters.

The truth is that Southern girls do poop, but it's just in private... which can't be done comfortably in a public bathroom.